Saturday, November 26, 2005

In Ypsilanti with HelloLlama

Thwacky arrived at Hellollama's house in Ypsilanti safely only to wonder where the heck this God-forsaken place was. He soon learned it was near Ann Arbor and got was looking forward to seeing such sights as The Big House, The Diag, and other sights at the University of Michigan. Well, Thwacky was out of luck. He came to Ypsilanti and, gosh darn it, he was going to see Ypsilanti. Except there's nothing to see in Ypsilanti. So Hellollama took him to the only famous sight in town...
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The Ypsilanti Water Tower. Also known as the giant phallus right near Eastern Michigan University. Rumor has it that the water tower will fall down should a virgin graduate from EMU. Notice that the tower is still standing. Clearly the architect was trying to compensate for something. Maybe the fact that it was located in Ypsilanti?

Thwacky spent the rest of his time in Ypsilanti trying to escape the drudgery of everyday life that is currently Hellollama's existence. To make up for the boredom, Hellollama and her two sons took him out to eat at their favorite Coney Island. Unfortunately, the boys spent the entire time harassing the poor fish.
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After that experience, Thwacky was so desperate to leave that he camped himself out at the mailbox in hopes that the postman would have pity on him. Alas, he forgot about postage.
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Luckily, Hellollama helped him out the next day and sent him off to Bach_girl way down south in Ohio.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

In Saginaw with mrs. hi-c

Thwacky arrived in mrs. hi-c's mailbox safely, albeit somewhat jet-lagged and a bit sluggish from the colder weather-- fish are cold blooded, after all! Apparently chillas' threats triggered some sort of predatory response in Thwacky. He suggested going out for sushi, so of course mrs. and mr. hi-c obliged. Who could say no to a face like that?

LizzyBean and her boyfriend joined the hi-c family and Thwacky for dinner, even though poor Lizzy had injured herself. She had sprained her ankle during a brave and courageous battle against the feral jackalopes which run rampant in the "thumb" area of Michigan!

After dinner, Thwacky made the acquaintance of Shadow Kitty, who was dressed as an adorable bat for Halloween. For some reason, they didn't seem to like each other very well.

Thwacky found the hi-c family's fish colony to be much more his type of people! He got to visit with mollies, pacu, and pink-tailed shark.

All too soon, though, Thwacky's time with his own kind was over and he was back on the road, heading for HelloLlama's house.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

In Columbus with chillas

Things to Do In Columbus When You're a Fish,
or, Fish Alone II: Fish in Columbus

Thwackworthy arrived in Columbus none the worse for wear, and with merely a mild case of jet lag. The in-flight movie, as it turned out, had been Jaws, a feature which he had greatly enjoyed right up until the downer of an ending. Sadly, a combination of a crazy schedule and inclement weather prevented chillas from being able to spend as much time with Fishington as either would have liked. Much of the visit was spent with the intrepid ichthyoid left to entertain himself as he could. As so often happens in such situations, Fishington found himself returning to his more feral nature.

Apparently, the "more feral nature" of certain species of fish involves sitting around watching TV all day. Unfortunately it seems that fish prefer Pay-Per-View to standard cable channels. The resulting cable bill was the subject of heated discussion between Fishington and chillas. Fishington expressed his dis-satisfactionwith his host.

chillas then conveyed to his guest some thoughts on appropriate guest behavior, and offered an object lesson on the possible ramifications of displeasing one's host.

Their differences having been amicably worked out between them and a new understanding reached, chillas unceremoniously stuffed Fishington into an envelope labelled "Please Fold, Spindle and Mutilate," and shipped him off to mrs. hi-c.